I am rarely at a loss for words. Yet, as I’ve tried to find ways to articulate what happened in Bolivia during the first two weeks of July, I’ve found myself stumped into silence. Any praise would fall short. Any metaphor seems dim.
I can tell you that it exceeded all my expectations. I expected it to be hard. It was harder. I expected it to be meaningful. It redefined meaning. I expected it to push us all to our limit. We each discovered new frontiers far beyond where we thought our limits (and our breaking points) would be. Bolivia is the land of extremes. Our adventure there was no exception.
I can tell you that Act Like a GRRRL succeeded despite language and cultural barriers. In Bolivia, like everywhere else I have taken the program, I found that when I announce “this can be the sisterhood you’ve always longed for” women know instinctively what that means. As we sat down to create the agreements by which we would live and work for our 5 days together, this circle of young women asked for the same things I’ve witnessed other circles claim: a safe place to tell their deepest truths without fear of judgement, gossip or hurtful comments; a place to share their feelings and be witnessed; a place to cry and have others cry with them. No one asked to be fixed or bettered or shown a new way. They all just wanted the room to be exactly who they were without fear.
Each evening, the grrrls shared stories based on writing prompts from me. Over the course of our time together, almost everyone told a story she had never before spoken aloud. The details of the stories differed greatly, but at heart, the places the Bolivian and U.S. grrrls found meaning were the same: cherishing time with family; enduring the heartbreak of losing one you love; wishing for a “do-over” in how to treat your siblings; trying to halt injustice with love.
I had been hoping for an easy first step into the international arena. Instead, I got Bolivia, a place where even breathing isn’t easy (La Paz sits at almost 14,000 feet). My Spanish is lousy. I feared the concepts of ALAG might be too abstract for my (lack of) language skills. I was warned about the heavy machismo culture and the ways in which a woman’s value in Bolivia is so contingent on men that women find no worth apart from the man with whom they currently live (father, boyfriend, husband). I’m just stubborn enough to walk through the open door despite the challenges (and with the help of awesome translators). I figured if we could succeed here, we would know that ALAG has the legs to go anywhere. If it didn’t work, I’d have one more dream to cross off the list.
I’m pleased to report that the dream manifested beautifully. I really shouldn’t be surprised. Women have come together in sacred circles to share sorrows, joys and wisdom since the beginning of time. When we are gently nudged back to that place, DNA takes over. This way of being is in our bones.
My job — whether in the U.S. or Bolivia, whether working with adolescent girls, incarcerated women, college students or senior citizens — is to expose the “competition myth” (the one that says we as women need to fight each other for the limited amount of beauty, intelligence and attention we’ve been told exist in the world) and do the nudging that gets women and girls back to community. The competition myth keeps us separate and alone. We were built for connection. When we are willing to drop the facade in lieu of being truly known and loved as we are, everyone comes more fully alive.
I’ve heard a lot of things called “life changing” lately. Ford’s latest commercial swears buying one of their cars is a life-changer. There is a coffee shop in Green Hills that claims to be the place “where coffee changes lives.”
I don’t know about cars or coffee, but this group of teenage girls from two very different countries created something that took my breath away. Women from the campo traveled hours to La Paz to witness these grrrls find their voice and speak the truth about their lives. I listened as women wept with pride at the courage of their daughters. I watched as an Amayra woman in traditional dress pointed to the stage and said “Now I know I can speak up. It isn’t too late for me.” Tears streamed down my face as a local leader asked us not to stop here, but to return again for the young women of Bolivia and the grown women as well. “We need this too. Come back for us.”
Research shows that when women and girls feel empowered, nations prosper. That’s why the U.S. State Department has identified the empowerment of women and girls as a major foreign policy initiative under Secretary of State Clinton. When women are empowered, they work to improve the lives of others.
Ana Maria. Jenna. Sandra. Hannah. Sonya. Jhessica. Augusta. Miriam. Ana Gabrielle. Gilda. Chelsey. These young women represent the future. Their honesty, courage, empathy and wisdom make the world a better place. They have changed my life forever.
Very powerful!
Thank you, Rev. Michael, for making it possible!
wow. i was fighting back tears. the world is changing–just look at all the women in this year’s olympics, and not just american women–and you guys are part of that zeitgeist and that push towards a more equitable world, one grrrl at a time.